There’s No Party Like Showbiz Party

It’s not a good day for Chrissy. In fact, it hasn’t been a good day for a few weeks now. His only patron on OnlyDolls has disappeared. He’s taken a few gigs from Anaïs but they’re hardly sufficient.

So when that rare message comes in on OnlyDolls, he quickly opens it, giddy with anticipation.

“Hey, girly,” the message reads. “Love your content.” It comes with a $15 tip.

Chrissy’s heart races. He quickly looks at the profile of the sender. It’s barely filled. It could be a new account. Or it could be one of those weirdos who have been harassing him over the viral video.

But they also gave him $15.

“How’s $1K to make me cum?”

There’s a photo of a paper with a phone number. It also says “text me.”

Chrissy winces. His OnlyDolls isn’t that popular but he doesn’t want to be deplatformed for breaking rules. But at the same time, he’s read forums about creators’ making serious money offsite.

As he’s mulling over how to respond, he sees something move in the corner of his eyes. He almost throws his laptop to the side in panic.

“Goddammit, Fred!” Chrissy flings his headphones off and stands up on his mattress. “What the fuck? You can’t just barge in here.”

“Excuse you?” Fred says. “I told you I’d come over before we go to the party. I knocked on your door for like eight minutes and texted you a few times! Check your phone!”

The annoyance in Fred’s voice forces Chrissy to step back. He’s been too wrapped up in his own issues and the death threats he still receives daily make him even more paranoid.

“The party’s… today?” Chrissy slinks back down onto his mattress.

“Yeah, duh? In a few hours.”

Chrissy looks up at Fred. He has a silver outfit in his hands, his costume for tonight. He’s going as the Tin Woodman. They’re supposed to meet Billy, going as the Scarecrow, at the party. The person he’s courting to be the face of Priapus, Billy’s sex shop, is going as Guy-Dorothy.

Chrissy is, of course, the Cowardly Lion.

Fred sits next to Chrissy. “How did you forget? You literally made Billy’s and the other guy’s costumes. And yours too.”

“I… I don’t really wanna go.” Chrissy closes his laptop.

“May I ask why?”

He doesn’t want to look into Fred’s eyes. He can’t tell Fred about his finances or his failed attempt on growing his OnlyDolls. But there’s also another reason.

“Is it politics?” Fred rubs Chrissy’s back.

Chrissy nods.

“Aw, come here, baby,” Fred says and holds Chrissy tightly, cradling him.

He remembers how good it feels to be held. He misses Matt and Wade and even Manuel. Their hugs always comforted him. Fred’s is different, but he can’t pinpoint why or how.

“When was the last time you went out?” Fred squeezes Chrissy hand.

“I… I guess last week for groceries.”

Fred chuckles. “I mean for fun.”

He thinks for a few seconds, but shakes his head. He no longer goes out just for the sake of it. Going out costs money, a luxury he can’t really afford at the moment.

Fred holds Chrissy even tighter and kisses his forehead. “I’m not gonna force you to go out tonight if you don’t want to, but it could be fun to see the costumes other people wear. Get you feel inspired? Plus, you’d be totally anonymous with a mask.”

Chrissy presses his head closer to Fred and nuzzles against him. The scent of Fred’s aftershave soothes him. Neither Matt nor Wade uses aftershave.

“I’m… sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to accuse you of barging in. I mean, I did, and it was an asshole move.”

Fred kisses Chrissy’s lips. “There’s a way you can make it up to me.”

Chrissy giggles and reaches down to squeeze Fred’s dick. “Yeah? Want me to suck on this Italian sausage all night?”

Fred laughs. “No, you lil whore. I mean, yes, that’s definitely going to happen, but right now, could you help me make like a Tin Man armor? The supplies are in my car.”

“Seriously?” Chrissy pulls away from Fred.

“Pweety pweeze?” Fred puckers his lips. “I’ll buy you dinner. Or lunch. Or both.”

“Fine,” Chrissy says in as monotonic a voice as possible. Fred mustn’t know how grateful he is for every penny-pinching opportunity. “Can’t let you go to the party with just a silver shirt and silver pants and say you’re the Tin Man. And where’s your heart watch? And your axe? And your funnel hat?”

“Funnel… hat?”

Chrissy rolls his eyes and kisses Fred. “You’re hopeless.”

---

As he and Nico arrive at the venue, Matt sees someone dressed as Wonder Woman. He immediately thinks he needs to take a selfie with her and send it to Chrissy. Then he flinches. Things are different now. He’s with someone else. He wonders if Chrissy’s already moved on. He wonders if he himself has truly moved on.

“Hey, help me with my wings,” Nico says, snapping Matt back into reality.

His last-minute “costume” makes Matt feel even more like an impostor. A white collared shirt, a tie, a khaki overcoat, dress pants, gloves, and dress shoes. He borrowed the magnifying glass from the office. Nico lent him the fedora and a fake mustache, courtesy of his “peeps from ‘the biz.'”

“My friends are already inside.” Nico takes off Matt’s sweater.

Matt hooks the sweater in the crook of his arm and puts Nico’s Cupid wings on.

“You look super cute. The mustache really sells it.” Nico squeezes Matt’s arm.

Matt thinks about the last time he wore a fake mustache. It was at a Halloween party. He and Chrissy went as a couple. He dressed as Bob Belcher. Chrissy dressed as Marshmallow. Aubrey was involved. Things went awry that night. Things always went awry whenever Aubrey was involved.

“You sure you’re not cold?” Matt holds up the sweater to Nico.

“Nah, if anything, it’s gonna be too hot. Come on.” Nico slides his hand in Matt’s and yanks him to the front door, where a bouncer is waiting for them.

“I… I feel like I don’t belong,” Matt says, tugging back. A thousand worries go through his head, including being drenched in sweat under all these layers of clothes.

“You’re my arm candy tonight.” Nico kisses Matt’s lips. “Get your ID out and let’s go.”

The bouncer checks their ID, scans their tickets, and gestures at them to go inside.

Matt takes a deep breath. He lets Nico hold his hand and lead him in.

---

Chrissy leans against the wall as Fred texts Billy. Billy has their tickets to the event.

“Toldja he’d be late,” Chrissy says. He fiddles with his mask and hoodie, making sure his pink hair doesn’t peek through.

“Says he’ll be here in five minutes. Just finding parking. You hungry? There’s a taco truck.”

Chrissy shakes his head. “No. I’m… too nervous to eat.”

Fred leans against the wall next to Chrissy. “You cold?”

Chrissy shakes his head again. Los Angeles was hit by a heatwave just a few weeks ago. But it’s a cool night. In a different timeline, he’d make his costume as slutty and revealing as possible, despite the temperature. But not tonight. Tonight, he truly wants to be anonymous. The mask also helps not only to hide his face but muffle his voice.

Fred puts his arm around Chrissy, but his Tin Man armor makes it impossible to hold Chrissy properly. They both laugh.

“There you go. I always love it when you laugh.” Fred says. “Still nervous?

“A bit better.” Chrissy holds Fred’s arm tight. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my Courageous Lioness.”

Chrissy giggles as Fred kisses his hand.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Billy appears from around the corner.

“There he is,” Fred fist bumps Billy. “Great costume.”

“Courtesy of Chrissy’s very capable hands.” Billy twirls and shows off his Scarecrow outfit. “And you don’t look so bad yourself!”

“Yeah, Chrissy made the Tin Man armor for me. In just an hour.”

“And the heart pocket watch.” Chrissy fixes Billy’s burlap hood.

“And the heart pocket watch and the funnel hat. And the axe.”

“Are you kidding? I love it! Hey, Fred, wait till you see the Dorothy costume Chrissy made.”

Chrissy almost blurts out to Billy it was worth the one month’s rent in exchange for the costumes. But he didn’t want Fred to know about his money issue.

“Well, where’s the new guy?” Fred says.

“He should be here any moment.” Billy checks his phone. “Got him a ride share. Says he’s just turning the corner.”

“What’s his name?” Chrissy says.

“Josh,” Billy says. “Oh. He’s here.”

“Josh?” Fred looks at Chrissy, then at Billy. “Josh who?”

But Fred’s question is answered when a car pulls up in front of them and someone steps out. First the red shoes, then the blue gingham short overalls.

“Oh, oh no,” Fred says. “That Josh.”

“You know him?” Chrissy says.

“Folks, our Guy-Dorothy. Doro-he? Anyway, this is Fred.”

Fred shakes Josh’s hand. “Hey, how are you?”

“Fred?” Josh says. “Didn’t we shoot together a few times?”

“Yeah, we did. Good to see you again.”

Chrissy doesn’t like the way Josh looks at Fred, but at the same time, he’s aware of his own resting bitch face, so best not to judge someone too early.

“And this is Chrissy.” Billy squeezes his shoulder. “He used to be the mascot of Priapus and can tell you all the good things about working with me, right, Chrissy?”

Chrissy giggles and offers his hand to Josh.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Chrissy? Pink hair Chrissy? As in, the viral video Chrissy? Zionist Chrissy? The Chrissy who attacked the pro-Palestinian guy?“

“What?” Fred says. “He never attacked anyone!”

Josh ignores Fred and turns to Billy. “Billy, are you fuckin’ serious? When you said ‘ambassador,’ I already wasn’t sure it fit my brand, but this? You bring me this bitch?”

Chrissy looks at Billy, who looks just as shocked as he does.

“No, I didn’t mean…” Billy says.

But Josh’s voice is raised. He’s already made up his mind.

“Fuck. Better not have anyone else know I’m here.” Josh looks around, but there are only a few people waiting in line to get in. “Jesus Christ. This feels like a fuckin’ ambush. You tryin’ to ruin me, Billy? Fuckin’ nerve putting me next to this… This genocide supporter.”

“What the fuck?” Chrissy straightens up. His body tenses. This is the ice cream store all over again. Even without phones recording him.

“Hey, whoa.” Fred steps forward. “Not cool, Josh.”

Billy puts his hands up and tries to step between the men. “Okay, okay, let’s everyone calm down.”

“Yeah, no.” Josh glares at Billy. “Three against one. This is an ambush. God. Can’t believe I even agreed to meet you and hear your stupid pitch for your stupid store.”

As Josh walks away, Billy tries to stop him. “Josh! Hey, wait! Goddammit. Fred, I’m gonna forward you the tix. You two go ahead. I’ll be right back. Josh!”

Chrissy’s knees wobble. He steadies himself and leans against the wall. “What… What just happened?”

Fred sighs. “Josh’s whole brand is that he’s a militant leftist. He really leans into that whole Antifa persona.”

“Oh, great.” Chrissy puts his face in his hands. “Fantastic. I just ruined the deal.”

“Baby, no, that’s not your fault. We didn’t know it was going to be Josh! Billy said nothing. Besides, if anything, he dodged a bullet.” Fred’s phone dings and buzzes. “Got the tix. But… You probably don’t wanna go in, do you?”

But Chrissy shakes his head. “No. I… I lost my courage. And it makes no sense to just have the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion without the rest.”

Fred looks up and takes a deep breath. “Fair. But can I go inside? I need to pee real bad.”

“Yeah, go. I’ll stay right here.”

Fred rubs Chrissy’s back. “Be right back.”

Chrissy shifts his weight from side to side. He adjusts his mask and his hoodie. He pulls the sleeves of his costume, trying to cover his hand even further. But he only had a budget for a little fabric and had to cut the sleeves short for the tail. He looks around. More people are lining up to get in.

He takes a deep breath and adjusts his mask again. He counts to ten before exhaling, trying to calm his heart.

“Let me guess: Nala?” a voice startles him. It sounds… Familiar.

Chrissy turns his head, and his throat tightens.

What the hell is Matt doing here? Chrissy panics. Matt will recognize his rings, so he puts his hands behind his back as he tries to get them off.

“No. Cowardly Lion. I mean, Cowardly Lioness.” He makes his voice deeper and fakes a Mexican accent, hoping that, paired with the muffle effect from the mask, they will help disguise him. He’s glad the costume he wears makes him look shapeless.

“Oh, yeah. The red bow.” Matt chuckles. “Nice. I love it. Why, though?

“Why… what?”

“Why make him a girl?”

“I… Well, Dorothy should have at least one female friend who’s not a witch.” Damn. The rings are stuck. Why are his fingers so fat?

Matt laughs so hard his upper body shakes. “Oh, my God. That’s… funny because it’s true. Also sad because it’s true. Fuck. I haven’t laughed like this in months. Sorry. I normally don’t curse in front of strangers.”

Chrissy can feel his stomach drop.

A stranger. That’s all he is to Matt. But maybe it’s for the better?

It takes all he can muster to stop himself from running right into Matt’s arms and bury his head in Matt’s chest. “That’s okay. And you’re… Inspector Clouseau?”

“You are correct, monsieur! Or should I say, mademoiselle?”

Chrissy wants to giggle at how bad Matt’s French accent is, but he also knows his fake Mexican accent is even more abominable. So he just nods. But he’s a little bit alarmed by how overly animated Matt is. Is he… drunk? But he only drinks when he’s nervous.

“Either one is fine,” Chrissy says.

“Why aren’t you inside?”

That question again. “Oh… I… I don’t know. Don’t feel like it’s my crowd, really.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Matt adjusts his tie. “Not mine either.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Oh, my, uh… My uh, date. He’s a stuntman. In the biz. Thought it would be a good party to network and stuff. But he’s busy with friends inside.”

Date? Chrissy can feel his guts lurching out. “But you like to dress up?”

He asks to really sell his disguise. He knows how much Matt loves costume parties. It’s the way he celebrates the memories of his mom.

“Yeah. But… mostly for Halloween. But I didn’t get to do it last time.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Halloween is Matt’s favorite holiday. Chrissy can feel his throat tighten.

“I… Lost someone. My fault. My mistake.” Matt sighs. “Biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life.”

Even though Chrissy anticipated that response, it still hits him like a freight train. He looks away. He can’t risk Matt seeing tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry.” Chrissy wipes his tears. “I…”

“There you are! I called you multiple times!” Another voice cuts in. “You’re right. It’s also cold inside. So glad you let me borrow your sweater.”

Chrissy’s shocked to see the sweater he gifted Matt last year worn by this stranger in the Cupid costume.

“I was looking everywhere for you,” Cupid says.

“Sorry,” Matt says. “I just… Had to get some air.”

“Aw, okay. You’re coming back inside soon, right?”

Chrissy glares as Cupid kisses Matt’s lips. This kid can’t be older than twenty-five! What was Matt thinking?

“Yeah. Yeah. In a bit.”

Right before Cupid heads inside, he looks at Chrissy. “Let me guess: Cats?”

“Technically,” Chrissy says, “but they’re not the same genus. I’m Panthera leo, not Felis catus.”

“Huh?”

“I’m a lion. Well, a lioness.”

“Oh, god, I hate cats. And the movie’s a mess. Never saw the stage version, though. Too weird.” Cupid pinches Matt’s cheek. “But not your cats, baby. They’re adorbs.”

Chrissy can feel and hear his heart breaking. Galadriel, Luna, George Meowchel. He misses cuddling with the three kitties. He wonders how they’re doing. Does Gala still like to overeat and then barf in that same spot in the carpet? Does Luna still does zoomies at 3 am. Is Georgy still picky with his food?

Matt chuckles. “Nice safe. I’ll see you inside in a bit.”

“OK. Don’t be long.” Cupid kisses Matt again.

As Cupid walks back into the building, Chrissy wrings his tail, resisting the urge to pick out all the furs. Matt’s moved on. Matt’s moved on so fast. And speaking of fast, why the hell is Fred taking too long to just pee?

“He seems nice,” Chrissy says.

“Yeah,” Matt says. “Yeah.”

Chrissy savors how Matt’s voice cracks. There’s uncertainty. But why is that important? Matt’s betrayed his trust. No. This is just a phase. He’ll get over it. They’ll get over each other.

“Sorry.” Fred skips around the velvet rope. “There was a long line to the restroom, and people were fussing over their costumes. There were feathers everywhere. Should’ve just peed in the alley or something. You ready to go?”

Chrissy nods vigorously. He glances at Matt, knowing it could be the last time he’ll see him. But he quickly averts his gaze, worried Matt might recognize his eyes. “Bonne chance, monsieur l’inspecteur.”

“Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle.” Matt takes off his hat.

Chrissy catches Matt’s faint smile. His stomach drops. He misses that smile more than he cares to admit. A minute more and Chrissy would probably rip off his mask and kiss Matt.

“Who’s that?” Fred says, just out of earshot from Matt as they walk away from the building toward Fred’s car.

“Oh, just… someone from the party,” Chrissy says. His tears have evaporated, but he feels hot and humid under the mask. And he wants to make sure Matt’s out of sight before he takes it off.

---

There’s something strangely familiar with that guy, Matt thinks as he watches the Lioness walk away, accompanied by a Tin Man. But there are so many Oz-related costumes at the party, they’ve all become a blur.

He sighs and looks up. If he squints, he can see the stars, even through the sky that’s polluted both by smog and lights. It’s warmer outside, but he’d rather sweat in his overcoat than go back inside where it’s cool. Nico’s too busy with his friends, and half the time he has no idea what everyone else is talking about.

He turns around and nearly collides with someone.

“Hey, watch where you’re going, jerk!”

Matt catches the woman just in time. “Anaïs?”

“Matt? Holy shit. Been too long!”

Anaïs is more Chrissy’s friend than his, but Matt’s glad to see a familiar face.

“So nice to see you.” Matt hugs Anaïs. “How’re you?”

“Underwhelmed.” Anaïs rolls her eyes. “You?”

“Overwhelmed.”

She laughs. “Not your scene, huh?”

Matt shakes his head no. “You alone?”

“Yeah. Thought I’d network or see people who look interesting enough for the agency. But no luck. You?”

“Nah. A date. Stuntman. You Snow Queen from Marion Cotillard’s new film?”

“Whoa! You’re the first person who got it right! I mean, most people guessed Elsa, and yes, other kinds of snow queen, but not the Cotillard one. You seen it?”

“The crown’s a dead giveaway. And no. I… don’t want to see it alone.”

“Stunt guy not interested in seeing it with you?”

Matt shakes his head. “Nah. Not his thing. And I don’t want to weird him out by making him see something I want to see and he doesn’t particularly care about.”

“Know who’d do it?” Anaïs says. “Chrissy. And he speaks French too.”

Her words stab Matt like a thousand little knives. “I know…”

“Oh, and I saw the interview and the spread with Gar. Loved it. You two looked absolutely phenomenal. And I’m glad you and BILT were able to bounce back after that… whole thing.”

“Oh, thanks. Thanks so much.” Getting Gar to agree to the shoot wasn’t easy. He’d agreed to do the shoot with Matt only if Matt came clean about what happened that day with Chrissy. He received so much heat from Gar that he was worried he’d lose Gar too.

“You know, the viral video?” Anaïs takes off her crown. “Heavily edited. Taken out of context. Vivian’s boyfriend also took a video but he doesn’t want to post it to his page because he’s chicken shit and doesn’t want to get boycotted. But I was there. I saw how it all went down. I was proud of Chrissy. Still am.”

Matt looks at Anaïs incredulously. Chrissy’s right. She has absolutely no filter.

“Oh, that’s my ride.” Anaïs says. “There’s another event I need to go to, but I gotta change first. Hope it’s not gonna be filled with morons like this one. No offense.”

Matt chuckles. “None taken.” He bends down and hugs her.

“You know, Chrissy never told me why you and he broke up.”

Matt feels a wave of relief. At least Anaïs doesn’t think of him as the asshole who ruined relationship, even if Aubrey forced himself on Matt. “Hey, could you do me a favor and… Not tell him you met me here?”

There’s a chill down his spine when Anaïs looks at him. Of all Chrissy’s friends, she always scares him. But her face softens and she smiles.

“Promise.” Anaïs squeezes Matt’s arm.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Matt watches the car drive away. He closes his eyes. Images of Chrissy flash in his head. He exhales, but his chest still feels heavy.

His phone rings. It’s Nico. He turns around and drags his feet back into the party. He really doesn’t want to down another glass of Bourbon.